A little bit of before...

Before the drugs, I was an athlete. One might use the word jock. I was a gymnast for 13 years. After that I spent a little time trying to find "my sport." Gymnastics was my sport. All I knew since the age of 2. I had an injury that required me to take 3 months of intense rest and going back just wasn't the same. I spent time after that rediscovering my love for other outdoor sports. I swam competitively all through high school and I was damn good at it. I picked up soccer at age 16, unheard of, really. Most of the girls had been playing soccer their entire lives. I ended up being a badass midfield. My skills were weaker than some but I was super fast, so it didn't matter. When I wasn't on the field or in the pool, I was training for triathlons.

After high school, I became and EMT and then decided to become a firefighter. There were mostly boys in my class and I am 100% certain that I kept up with them.

A year into paramedic school, I dropped out. I think I honestly just said fuck it and quit going. It wasn't that it was too hard. I was always up for a challenge. I was working nights in the ER in a small Orlando hospital. I remember having sleep troubles my whole life and it was around this time I was taking them and staying awake because it was kind of fun. I would work all night and then come home at 7am, pop a sleeping pill and stay up as long as I could. I wasn't doing this all the time. I had to work also and I really, truly loved my job.. I just did it for fun. And I guess because I was super alone.

I'm not sure this is exactly where things started to go all wrong, maybe this was a tipping point. Maybe it all happened much sooner...